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busy mum, busy mother,

Dear busy mum,

I just wanted to let you know that I see you.  I see you tirelessly giving to your children, your work, your home, your partner/family/friends and everybody else.  I see you doing your best each and every single day and still not believing its ‘good enough’.

I see you reviewing your day while the kids are sleeping but you focus more on the bits that didn’t go so well, why do you do that?  Let me tell you a little secret, if you start reviewing your day by focusing on all the bits that did go well, no matter how small, you’ll feel a whole lot better!

I see how hard you try and how deeply you love and that’s all that really matters, how deeply you love, and I know you love deeply.  Remember to fill your day with as many moments of love as you can, I know it’s hard when you never get a minute to yourself and the kids demand of you non-stop, but soak up those moments of love; the cuddles, the kisses, the mispronounced words, the flowers they pick you and the warmth of their palm in your hand.  Soak those moments up, motherhood is made up of these small moments and the more we can soak them in the easier it is to get through those not so good moments and there are plenty of those.

I just wanted to let you know that I hear you too.  It’s OK that you mumble ‘fuck sake’ under your breath, you’re human and motherhood can be exasperating, give yourself a break.  I hear the sighs of frustration and tiredness and they are all OK.

This motherhood thing is no walk in the park, even when you‘re walking in the park!  It’s bloody hard work, its non-stop, its 24/7, no paid holidays, back to back nights and no sick pay.  It’s the hardest damn job in the world but look at your kids; you’re frigging amazing at it!  You made them, you grew them and now you get to watch them develop into the wonderful soul that they’re, it’s no easy task but it would be so much easier if you cut yourself some slack, yeah?

I know you tend to focus on the bits you didn’t get quite right; you’re a bit of a perfectionist aren’t you? But with motherhood it pays to let it slide.  If you strive to be the ‘perfect mother’ you’re only ever going to fail and I know you don’t do ‘fail’.  I know you’re ambitious and you love to work and sometimes the kids get in the way of that.  You have this internal battle going on where you want to spend as much time with the kids but also crave that time to yourself and to work on the things you love.  That’s OK, it’s all OK.  You can be, do and have whatever you want and I know you want more and that’s OK too.

Oh and one more thing, I believe in you.  Yep I believe in you 110% because I see you, I hear you and I know you, you’re an amazing mother and we all just need you to do your best, not perfect, just your perfectly imperfect, quirky, weird, adorable self, yeah?  No more guilt and ‘not enough’ feelings going on, repeat after me “I am amazing” go on say it, silently if you must “I am amazing and I am more than enough”, remind yourself of that often.

If you’re reading these words I believe it’s because you needed to hear them and if someone else needs to hear them too share this with them today.

Now go soak up the mini love moments and just be your amazing self!

With love

Vicky x

 

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