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You write your story

As the new year begins many people will be making resolutions in an attempt to create a better version of themselves but this year I urge you not to create a new you but instead find the old you, the real you.

Two years ago I enrolled on the Visionary Women Business Academy with Kara Maria Ananda, I was drawn to the course to help take my birth business to the next level but that course triggered a question in my mind that I believe is one of the most important questions you can ask yourself and today, new year’s day 2015, is a perfect day to ask; who am I?

For the past 2 years I have been reflecting on who I really am and what my unique gifts/talents are that I can share with the world.  It’s so easy to get drawn into the world around you and lose sight of who you are, especially as a mother when all our waking hours are dedicated to the needs of someone else, but as I discussed in my Mother Me post, when we neglect our own needs everyone suffers.

A few weeks ago I stumbled across a fantastic book in my local library; Archetypes – A beginner’s guide to your inner-net, by Caroline Myss.  In it Caroline discusses the main archetypes present in our current world, and in the words of those pages you can really begin to find yourself.  When you find and understand your deepest desires, fears, strengths and weaknesses you can really start to play the game of life to your advantage.  The blank pages of 2015 are yet to be written, lets write them differently this year, rather than let life carry you along, search deep inside yourself to find who you really are and you can begin to deliberately create 2015 as your best year yet!

As Caroline explains ‘archetypes are the key to our personal power’ and I for one can vouch for that.  I’ve been on the path of self-discovery for a while and I understand myself, my strengths and weakness, fears and desires more than ever before but Caroline’s book has really helped hone in on a few more areas and bring everything together.  To explain what an archetype is let me say just two words; Perfect Mother.  What springs to mind when you think of the perfect mother?  We can all conjure up that image of the perfect mother, cooking nutritional meals, patiently playing/singing with her children, she has a calm/gentle demeanour, and she is firm but gentle in her discipline.  What about the hero or the villain, what comes to mind when you think of those?  These are archetypes, they speak to us in a language of symbols and myths and we all have personal archetypes imbedded into our DNA, we can’t run from them they are part of the very fabric of our being and when we tap into them we can begin to live to our highest potential.

Although we all carry the Spiritual Seeker archetype within us, some will express it to more or less of a degree, for me the Spiritual Seeker plays a huge part of my life, I have always been a deep thinker and reflector and love to study the mystical laws of the universe.  I’m not afraid (anymore) to speak the truth as I see it or see my failures as opportunities for growth and these are two ways in which the Spiritual Seeker gains their power.  However they lose their power when they live with chaos and distractions (eek time for a new year clear out!) and getting hooked on self-help books instead of listening to their inner guidance, if you could see the number of books I have you would see I am guilty as charged on this one!  Knowing these and the other ways in which I lose my power can help me make powerful changes and I believe it could for you too.  You don’t have to rush out and find a book on archetypes to find yourself just some deep reflection would do but the Spiritual Seeker in me will always be drawn to seek knowledge from anywhere I can find it.

So, who are you? Are you the Spiritual Seeker with a thirst for the truth about life or perhaps the Caregiver who’s greatest strength is nurturing others?  Perhaps you, like me, resonate with the Feminist Rebel, a side of you who doesn’t perhaps surface in everyday life but when an injustice is at hand you jump to the cause or you might rebel in more subtle ways like me at my graduation ball, the dress code was dress and suit, so I wore a suit.  Maybe you’re a Fashionista or Athlete?  I skipped both of those chapters because I definitely know who I am not!

For me the archetypes that play out the most are the Spiritual Seeker, the Artist/Creative, the Caregiver, the Intellectual and the Feminist Rebel and by understanding these and the life challenges/lessons they bring I understand myself on a much deeper level.  It’s clear to see why I was drawn to start this blog, the Spiritual Seeker in me searches for the true meaning and purpose to life, the Artist/Creative in me longs to write about it, the Caregiver wants to share that information to make a difference to the lives of others, the Intellectual in me cultivates wisdom to improve life for myself and others and just loves to learn for learning sake, and finally the Feminist Rebel, well she’s ready to pounce when an injustice occurs and helps keep me on the road less travelled.  The Spiritual Seeker and the Feminist Rebel can seem like contradictions, I have often felt like a contradiction in my life but fully understanding these different aspects of yourself can really help you play to your strengths and understand your weaknesses and what to do about them.

For me the biggest realisation of this recent self-reflection is the inner shadow of the Caregiver, Caroline explains “the inner shadow of giving too much is resentment, accompanied by a deep-rooted sense of being unappreciated”  Most of us fall into the Caregiver archetype when we become a mother, even if it didn’t play a primary role in your life before, and I think we can all start to feel this resentment at times, the important thing to remember is that the most important person to give to is yourself first, this is not something a Caregiver finds easy but it’s essential to do.  I’ve become much better at it but there is definitely room for improvement and whilst I don’t make news year’s resolutions, this year I am setting up a self-care routine which I will be sticking too so I no longer feel resentment or unappreciated.  When I fill my own cup it can then overflow naturally to those around me and when I care for myself my inner Caregiver won’t need to worry about who is going to look after me.

It’s 2015, let’s not try and create a ‘new you’ lets just find the old you, the real you, you’re in their somewhere, you’re probably just lost under all those roles and responsibilities, all that caring for other people, all that rebellion, all that searching for the truth when its right inside you all along.  Stop looking outward and start looking inward and 2015 could be your best year yet!

With love and self-reflection

Vicky x

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