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focus, gratitude, beliefs

The glass is half full

We all look at life through a different lens; the eyes see what they want to see, the ears hear what they want to hear but just like a photographer can change the lens to get a better shot, so can we.  Our belief systems and current thought patterns make up the lens through which we view the world, that’s why someone who thinks positively will see the glass half full, whilst someone who airs on the side of pessimism will see it half empty.

This week I had my own little epiphany into the lens I’ve been wearing; it’s wide angled.  I’ve always been able to see the big picture; I know and see the future I want to live, my sights are set but it’s still out of focus.  Whilst it’s vital we know where we are going and what that dream is, what I know to be true in my heart is that it’s even more important is to be focused on the now.  Be happy now. Feel abundant now.  Feel at ease now.  Enjoy life now.

A filtered view

Facebook has done wonders for connecting people, I love that I get to keep in touch with friends and family that I otherwise wouldn’t see for months or years at a time.  I love that they get to see my girls grow but it also has its drawback.  Facebook, and other social media platforms like it, help us see into the world of others, we get to see their birthday photo’s, their wedding day, their holiday, their lovely arty crafty days with the kids, the kick around in the park, it’s all there and it’s lovely BUT it’s all filtered.  We are seeing through our lens and they are showing only what they want us to see and that’s great, I don’t want to see a photo of people arguing, of children screaming, of bedtime tantrums or messy homes with tired mums who just can’t find the time to clean them.  I’m not saying we shouldn’t post nice happy images of people doing wonderful things; my point is that we shouldn’t judge ourselves and our lives by what we see on the filtered images of someone’s life.

This week I realised I had been doing just that and that realisation helped me to see that my wide-angled lens isn’t serving me so well, I need to change my lens to focus on what’s right in front of me, I need to appreciate all the wonderful things that are in my life now; my amazing children, my hard-working and dedicated family man husband, my amazing work life balance, a business that I LOVE, the beginning of my writing career and so much more.  I have always been grateful for these things but every now and then I slip into that wide-angled view and look to the future…things will be easier when….things will be better when……if only I could do, be, have…..

Those images we see on Facebook, whilst real, don’t paint the full picture, they are only a tiny snap shot in someone’s day, in someone’s week, in someone’s life.  Their world may appear ‘perfect’ but it rarely is.  We all have our own challenges and burdens to carry, they make us who we are, they make us stronger and I am grateful for all of mine.  One of my biggest challenges of all was overcoming postnatal depression and I am so thankful for it because it became one of my greatest gifts.  It helped me to see all the things I had been ignoring, the things I had been filtering from my view.  It helped me to realise that the most important person in any picture, whether you are in front of or behind the lens is YOU.  When you fill your cup you automatically fill everyone’s cup (read more on that here).

One small step

I have been so focused on achieving my dream of being a published author that I forgot to celebrate the small successes along the way.  This week a blog I wrote on friendship and Connection is going to appear in the first edition of Connect magazine, this is the online sister magazine of ‘The Mother’, an holistic mothering magazine which, this time last year I could only ever have dreamed of being published in, this is HUGE for me and I am so excited but it wasn’t until a couple of people pointed out to me how excited they were that my career was going so well that I realised I hadn’t seen it that way.  I was over the moon but I hadn’t fully appreciated just how it looked to the outside world because through my lens it was just a small step forward, but through their lens it was huge, so I took a step back and adjusted my focus.  This one ‘small’ step is actually one huge step closer to my dream.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the day to day routines of life and start taking things for granted but every now and then we get a little reminder that helps us step back and see our world through someone else’s eyes and then we realise just how wonderful it is.  it’s all about what you focus on.

Is there an area of your life where the lens needs adjusting? Are you seeing other people lives as better than yours in some way?  Do you need to take a step back and see your world through someone else’s lens? Next time you’re scrolling through Facebook check in to see if you are judging yourself based on other people’s lives and remember you are seeing filtered  images, they don’t tell the full story but they will give you a good indication into the lens you view the world from and if it needs changing it’s only a thought away.

It’s time to readjust our lens, to focus on what really matters, to reach out and touch the amazing things we have in our life right now.  Whilst it’s important to see the bigger picture of your life and hold it as an image in your mind, remember each little success takes you one step closer, every time you discover something in your life that you don’t want it is showing you the road to what you do want.  Everything is just a thought away.  Step back, readjust your focus and take another shot.  Life’s short, dream big, stay focused and present and all will come to you at just the right time.

With love and focus

Vicky x

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