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facing your fears

Facing your fear and why you are mine

“I can’t believe you wrote that!”

I’ve had so many messages about last week’s blog; it seems to have conjured up all sorts of emotions in people. I don’t think anyone was expecting the raw and brutal honesty of it, however I had to write it because if I didn’t, that dream I hold of becoming a published author would never happen. Why? Because you are my biggest fear!

I have longed to write for so many years, I want to share the knowledge I have gained, I want to offer hope for the future and hopefully inspire people to make the changes they need to make to live the life they’ve always dreamed of; if at all they’ve dared to dream. But I can’t write the book I need to write unless I’m totally honest, I can’t inspire and offer hope without sharing my story in its completely raw and vulnerable state because that’s what life is, we are all raw and vulnerable but we hide behind our masks, telling the world and convincing ourselves in the process ‘I’m fine’. Are you fine? Or does it feel like something is missing in your life? Do you have this emptiness that you can’t quite put your finger on? Do you have, like me, everything you have ever wanted and still feel lost? If you do it’s because you’re not living your purpose and being your true authentic self; happiness is an inside job.

I have this image of my ideal reader, I know exactly who she is, when I write I think of her, but I’ve always had this fear that my friends and family would read my book too and they aren’t (or mostly aren’t) my ideal reader. For me to write the book I need to write I have had to face that fear head on so that my words on the page are authentic and raw, if I fear what my husband might think or what my mam might say, I’d always be holding something back. So 3 months ago when I wrote that first blog I shared it with my friends and family first, as I have each blog since, and although initially the fear was still there, and even though I had huge doubts last week, I have now faced my fear and I finally feel free. Free to write what I need to write, free to share my story honestly, I am free to be my authentic self and I can’t tell you how liberating that feels!

So I would like to ask you, what’s your biggest fear? And I’m not talking about spiders or heights, I mean what’s holding you back from really taking the bull by the horns and living the most amazing, abundant and fun filled life? Maybe you haven’t dared to dream yet for fear that it would never really happen and you’ll just be fantasising about something you can never have? Or maybe you know deep down what you want but you don’t dare admit it because you think it’s wrong to want more than you currently have? We’ve all been told to be grateful for what we have and not to seek material possession to make us happy and I agree with both of these BUT there is ‘more to life’, this is a material world and there is nothing wrong with wanting more and enjoying the amazing things that this world has to offer. Not everyone dreams of a ‘big life’ with millions of pounds and fancy cars, to some that’s a nightmare not a dream, but it’s ok to want these things and they are 100% attainable when you live your purpose and follow your passion. Make sharing your gift with the world your goal and the other things will follow; shift the goal post and you’ll score!

When we place material things like money, a big home or fancy cars as our goal we lose sight of the journey; the journey is about discovering who you really are, finding your authentic voice, overcoming your fears and living a life of passion and purpose. When you do this all the other things you have ‘tried’ to attain will come as a natural by-product of living the life you were meant to live. When it comes down to it we all want more money for the same reason, not for the things it can buy but because it can ‘buy’ us the one thing we all feel short of, time and time equals freedom. The pursuit of money is really the pursuit of freedom but you are never truly free unless you know who you really are and you are truly happy being your authentic self. This is why so many celebrities appear to ‘have it all’ and yet turn to drugs to give them the high they are missing. They have wealth on the outside but not on the inside. For me the dream life is to follow my passion (to read and write), to live my purpose (sharing my knowledge to help others), to experience pristine health for myself and my family, to have the freedom to do as I choose (setting my own working hours, travelling at my leisure), to be truly happy with who I am, to enjoy real connection with my family and to raise my children to do the same.

In all my years of working with new mothers I know you don’t want to go to work 9 to 5 and leave your children with someone else, I know you don’t want to work all month to pay the childcare cost for the children you just want to be with, but I also know that being home all day with the kids is just as demanding, if not more so, than a full time job and you may not want that either. The key is balance. I believe we can all find the right balance for us. I have that in my life right now, my life now was just a dream four and half years ago and it seemed so unattainable but I allowed myself to dream anyway.

I’ve always wanted to run my own business, I no longer wanted to be stuck behind a desk, I wanted to work part time hours and have time to write, I wanted to teach and add value to others in the work I do and I wanted the flexibility so that when the time came I could take my daughter to school and be there to pick her up and cook a healthy meal, these things are important to me. I held this vision, I wrote down those goals and even though I couldn’t see how anything could possibly fit this description I held tight in my belief and it came to me. I have everything I wanted but do you know what the trouble is? I’m living somebody else’s dream, Lazy Daisy™, the mother ship of my birth and baby franchise, isn’t my dream, it wasn’t my gift to the world, however it has been a vital step on my path to making my own dreams come true. We all have to start somewhere and this was right for me but remember you are here to share your gift with the world not somebody else’s.

I was petrified when I first made the decision to start that business, there were so many reasons to hold back but I went with the gut feeling that told me this is what I am meant to do, it matched my vision completely. At the time I couldn’t see how that could possibly have led me to where I am today but it did in the most perfect way. I am extremely passionate about the work I do but it’s time to share my gift with the world. I’m telling you this because sometimes the decision we fear making the most is precisely the one we need to make. We all like the safety of our comfort zone but let’s face it; it’s boring as hell in there! Take a risk, face your fear, you might not see how it can lead you to where you need or want to be but that’s ok, just take the inspired action and allow the rest to unfold in its own sweet time.

It’s time to grab the bull by the horns, face your fears and dream of the most amazing life you can, don’t hold back, what do you want? What do you really want? Visualise it every day (much more to come on the power of this!) as if it’s already happened and if it scares the bejeebers out of you, good, it means you are on the right track!

I’d love to hear from you about your fears, what’s holding you back? Do you know what your gift is? Is there something you would like me to share or expand on? Just ask, I write for you!

With love and fearlessness
Vicky x

photo credit: Rajiv Ashrafi via photopin cc

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